Monday, January 30, 2012

even the best fall down sometimes. even the wrong words seem to rhyme. out of the doubts that fill my mind, i somehow find that you and i collide.



These are my best friends. Despite how distant and somewhat very annoyed with each other some days for the past five months, we somehow instantly became the best of friends again this past weekend! It was kind of like, every single little problem that we'd had, suddenly dissapeared! Unlike before when, to be totally honest, everytime we all hung out together, I felt this really weird tension! I hated it! Therefore, I am so relieved that everything is great again.

Also, I am so excited to be getting my N soon so I can drive! I am also extremely excited for grade 12 next year, because it seems like once you get to grade 12, everyone suddenly becomes friends! Now, I know it might sound crazy, but I just really want everyone to be friends! Because I hate fake girls who constantly look down on you because you're not into the same things as them. For example, being a slut. I'm not into that, I'm sorry! But the least you could do when I sometimes smile at you, is maybe smile back? Y'know, since we were kind of friends 4 years ago? And I'm simply just trying to be friendly? But if it's too much to ask, then I'll get over it! But anyways, that just really bothers me.



So this picture gives a pretty precise idea of the picture I drew in art today. I've never taken art in my whole high school career until this year, and it was simply a quick decision. Let's just hope it gets better soon!

-peace, love, and shamwow :)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I ran away in floods of shame I'll never tell how close I came As I cross the Holland road You went left and I went right, As the moon hung proud and white. You would of loved it here tonight

Sometimes life is really hard. Unfortunately I've had to learn this from experience. You see, my dad was diagnosed with cancer in October 2010, then went on to fight this terrible disease for a full year. It was excruciatingly painful for him, but also for his family, and I included. However, he was so strong the entire time, never once complaining about how much pain he was feeling. Everyday when he woke up and made his way out to the kitchen to see my mom and I, he would always ask me, "What day is it today, Hun?" , then I would simply tell him which day of the week it was, then he would say, "Nope, its just another day that we get to spend together.". Then he laugh his hearty laugh that always couldn't help but bring a smile to my face. He was honestly the most wonderful dad anyone could ever ask for. He taught me so many things about life and how to always respect the people around me. Now I don't mean to be a complete downer, but I truly wish I had the opportunity to ask him more questions about his life and learn knowledge for my future. I was so lucky to have such an incredible father, I just wish I had realized how truly amazing he was before it was too late. You know how people say "You never know what you have until it's already gone."? Well ain't that the unfortunate truth.

Despite having to watch my own dad go through so much pain, he was constantly so positive, so it made me stay positive the whole time. Well that is until the day when the doctor said there was nothing left they could do for him, and that he should go home and spend time with his family. This was the only time I ever saw my dad so broken hearted. It became hard for me to stay positive during his last couple weeks. It was hard for all of us. It was just so saddening to look into my dad's scared eyes as he became weaker. I honestly hated going to school because I was afraid I might not see him again. I never told anyone, not even my closest friends K, JM, MM, or JZ, that I cried almost every night before falling asleep.

Now I don't really feel like going any further in depth, but I can say one thing for sure: life is much too short,so one should never take the ones they love for granted. In my opinion, tell them you love them every single day. You never want to regret something you didn't do, so live your life to the fullest, love the people close to your heart, and laugh with them as much as you want.